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Hi Friends,
The video I’m sharing today I recorded four years ago somewhere in rural New Mexico, days after a twenty-year friendship with one of my dearest friends ended. I remember the day of that recording very well. I remember feeling betrayed by the friend in question, wildly judgmental about some of his actions, and deeply sad about our break-up. I’d spent much of the day in anger and blame. And then I got sick of feeling angry and blameful, so I very intentionally shifted into my heart to ask for its guidance.
Of course, my heart, the bold lover that it is, encouraged the following: Just love him. Feel everything you need to feel about the situation, think everything your mind compels you to think about him, and send him love. You cannot hurt yourself by opening yourself to love. Love heals. It’s the attachments and expectations you place on love that create suffering. And, the moment you place any conditions on love, it becomes something else anyway. A product of the mind. Love has no conditions.
As I share in the video, I took my heart’s advice and decided to give energy not just to the friend in question but to everyone I could think of whom I didn’t like, or felt wronged by, or believed was causing harm to our world. One by one I brought them into my heart (lots of politicians!) until I felt genuine love for them. To be clear, I still didn’t like most of them or want any of them in my life. Love doesn’t require that. And let me tell you, it felt really good to see how loving I could be, no matter what. What extraordinary power there is in being able to love those your mind compels you to hate.
I hope the video resonates with you all. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
It is not necessary to compromise one single thing in the decision to love our fellow human beings, no matter what we think about them. Well, except for the suffering that comes with hating one another. A good compromise, I think. I am done with the us vs them energy of this country. I am done with the othering of one another. I am done with activism that doesn’t have, at its foundation, a commitment to compassion and love. Anything we feel called to do can be done with love, and everything we do with love is of service to ourselves and our world.
I feel called to say one more thing before I sign off: love is often the most difficult choice to make. We only need look at the state of the world to know that’s the case. As I wrote in the last email, difficult is not impossible. Not even close.
I know a lot of you reading this newsletter are lovers too, and I thank you with all my heart for your willingness to rest in yours. Let’s continue to do the difficult and extraordinarily beneficial work of loving the hell out of ourselves and our world.
Big and Bigger Love,
Scott
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