Dear Scott - it's wonderful that you break the seal of the hiddenness of suffering that everyone experiences and particularly this time on the planet, the despair is intense. I also believe that one of the reasons this feels so awful because we are scared it won't ever end and that we "should" be able to get out of it. But our bodies have held not only the grief and despair from our lifetimes, but we are made of our ancestral lineage of despair and fear and our bodies are trying to release that... they need to have time and space and a lack of outside distraction to do that - a space where we relax off the infintismal ways we contract ourselves when we are around others. Resting allows the body to use the energy for healing. It's absolutely the best thing we can all do to follow what our body wants and needs over the technoques we have learned to get back in the game, the game that ultimately is not working for us. You are not alone in this and by lifting the veil you are showing others that they are not alone... we are in this together. You have my love. .. be gentle with yourself and allow this without judgement, just watch it - nothing lasts for ever and a new dawning is occurring. Yinchi - a big astral hug to you
Sending you Love and the 'Gnowing that all things shall pass ~ Follow your Heart and Focus on that which makes it Sing ~ This is a discombobulated time where many of us are picking up the collective dismay ~ This needs to be felt and acknowledged in order that it may come to the surface and be cleared in transformative Love ~ Trust ~ And thank you for sharing your vulnerable spaces it helps people to feel less alone and more AllOne ~ A Blessing You Be
Love you so much and I know this place extraordinarily well, as you know <3 One thing that made me think, when you said you're doing things that you know are hurtful and not doing the things that are helpful, is maybe what hurts is actually the help. That's one of the fifty things that hit for me in this. Thank you for always being so vulnerable and willing to show up as you are. Love you infinitely.
Sorry that you're in that space. As a caregiver and one who suffers from long-covid, I often feel similarly until I get reminded that I indeed am not alone despite how it may feel at times. My mantra of the day is "This too shall pass.". It always does, I just need to give it the time and space, focus on doing something constructive or creative (I'm a photographer/artist) and getting out often helps me get out of my funk.
Your writings are also helpful/inspirational.
Here's hoping your funk passes sooner rather than later.
It's comforting to know that I am not alone. I have anxiety over the upcoming election and other current events too numerous to list. I often feel like a prisoner to my thoughts and fantasies. My heart feels broken too. It's overwhelming at times being an HSP.
My depressive state is strong some days, but I know my determination to find joy daily is stronger. I just need to be present and recognize those little moments of joy. For instance, I recently had a lovely encounter with a tiny 80-something-year-old woman at the grocery store explaining the virtues of whole celery root. (I didn't even know what that round veggie was!) That sweet lady was so friendly and cheerful. A real joy! Also, I recently received a package of new art supplies and a rose quartz crystal. Yes! But my favorite joyful moment was getting your email announcing a new evening breathwork session. Thank you so much!
You are not alone, Scott. Many of us are feeling the same way. If precedent is any indicator, this too shall pass... eventually.
Hey Scott, I've never heard you so down. Are you okay?? Remember, this too shall pass--- you bring so much joy, kindness and love to so many people-- it pains me to hear you are struggling. My advice-- go to nature-- the ocean, a mountain, a forest, write a daily gratitude journal, listen to uplifting music that you love, go visit your closest friends and let them know that you need a hug, an ear, and a laugh, have a glass of wine and try to relax-- everything is gonna be alright-- and know that you are so loved by so many-- me included
l can watch your videos over and over as I truly love all your honesty and insight.
Life is an ever-changing train wreck, but your videos help me remember you and the magic that you share with all of us.
When I feel dead in mind, body and spirit I shave my beard or lay on the couch with my dog on top of me and rest ahhhh
But some times I need help outside myself , so I either take a few hits of pot or take a pill and rest.
Or say to myself...
"Kevin you need let go of your silly nilly problems, life is a picnic in the park!! " ( quote from Cuddles in the campy yet very healing film Polyester)
I hope you are coming back to Santa Fe at some point, as is always great to see you!
Sending you sincere warm hugs and best wishes and a confirmation that your work It is VERY powerful and healing for me.
I FELT EXACTLY LIKE YOU IN THE VIDEO I RECEIVED TODAY...I FEEL MUCH BETTER... NO BULLSHIT!
And I wrote you this email and now I Feel like I can be productive and enjoy the process of life again.
You make a difference,
Thank You
Kevin
PS You also allow me to understand you deeper and you seem to have more integrity when you look haggard and raw in your videos...
Most spiritual healers make sure they are cheerful, and their hair and make-up is flawless, before the put out a video like the one today.
You totally described where I've been. I haven't quite been able to put it into words as eloquently as you. Your process sounds similar to mine. Thank you for reminding me that we are never alone in our messy human stuff. Today it feels like one mountain moved and I was under the mountain. There are so many fucking layers! I love you, Scott! ✨️💜
Oh, Scott, I am right there with you, stuck in the grey, too!!! And we're not alone; a friend on social media posted this quote by Georgia O'Keeffe that hit me square on: "I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again." and there were many others agreeing that they're feeling off, too. I cycle through acceptance (yes, even being able to accept this space for a brief moment is a definite sign of growth for me, too), impatience, frustration, wanting to escape it, and feeling like I just have to figure out the WHY of it ... and it's all so exhausting! I just want it to be DONE with me, and I keep telling myself that this, too, shall pass, but ... I am also very aware that the things I choose to do aren't helping me (endless scrolling, staying in bed/inside all day, etc.) and yet I'm still unable to stop doing those things; I'm also unable to choose to do things that I know will help (meditating, journaling, arting, getting outside into nature, etc.) WTF?!?!?! This is just all so very very uncomfortable and, because of a history of depression that hasn't visited me in a very nice long time, I'm also feeling a bit afraid of where this is heading. It's also not helpful that my husband/life partner (for the past 50+ years!) is away for almost 3 weeks, so I don't have his presence to comfort me nor urge me to get out of bed and do something, anything ... I'm supposed to go to the coast for 4 days with our dog starting tomorrow (I made these plans shortly after my husband decided to go on his trip), I thought that it would give me something really fun to do on my own while he is away, but now I'm not sure how it's going to be. If nothing else, I'd just like to find the balance between accepting this greyness while also doing things that are helpful during this time of greyness. Anyway, thank you for posting this bit of truth, sharing where you're at right now. Sending love to you.
Oh Scott- I send you love and energy . This is a shitty shitty place to be and it is part of being human & sometimes for longer than we wish to be there for . Steady on. Nothing else to do , be or say , just be in it… until you are no longer there 🩷
I FEEL YOU. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I've been feeling- low grade doom with a dash of numbness, and a solid sense of isolation (although I know it's sadly much of my own doing). Sending love and hope and gratitude for your willingness to share.
Same! I cannot tell you how this post of yours resonated with me and I'm grateful, and even happy, if that’s an appropriate word, that you had the courage and resilience to share it with us. That's being connected in our disconnectedness!
I recently saw a friend’s FB post in late August where she wrote: “Kinda wishing I could just quietly fade away.” Some people responded with I love you, but I would miss you, please don't. Others said they understood. I replied "May I come with you? I don't see you often, however, I enjoy your mind and company so much!" She responded “Pack your bag!”
Then, with another two friends I met through ecstatic dance, and we have had a years-long text thread going of love, support and connection with all of our highs and lows in life, and he wrote about a friend’s recent land purchase with lots of acreage on the East Coast, but said she was a very negative spirit. I shared my dream about how lovely that would be if we could all have our little cottages on the land and have a fire pit gathering circle where we could read poetry and dance around the flames. Then we could drift off to our little cottages in the woods and return in the morning for a farm table breakfast together. But he said she was the kind of friend to crush ideas and spirituality and he will never give up and we will have our place in the woods and that he can respond to others only with love. Now, even though it's our gentle thread talking about our dreams without the naysayers and dream crushers, there is that group of us, people in the world who uplift and look for mutual uplift, and we must keep shining our light.
Scott, I know that love comes from anywhere, our virtually-connected family, as it did from the tradesperson I saw yesterday who has some physical issues and he texted me later to say "It was so nice to see you this morning, you have such a beautiful personality, so full of energy, I love that!” That warmed my heart because I felt like I was being seen in a world where I often feel not seen. You have an extraordinary way of expressing it all in real time. That, in itself, is a great healer.
P. S. I so wanted to sign up for your breath work class on Tuesday, October 1, but I have to watch the debate (another stressor, but essential for me to watch, as our democracy is at stake. I do hope to sign up for the next one). Peace and Love. Vicki. xo
Thank you so much for sharing! Can’t tell you how much it helped me personally, because I’m right there too! Much love to you and all of us as we move through this necessary moment, you really helped me to remember wherever I am is exactly where I need to be and this too shall pass ❤️
Dear Scott - it's wonderful that you break the seal of the hiddenness of suffering that everyone experiences and particularly this time on the planet, the despair is intense. I also believe that one of the reasons this feels so awful because we are scared it won't ever end and that we "should" be able to get out of it. But our bodies have held not only the grief and despair from our lifetimes, but we are made of our ancestral lineage of despair and fear and our bodies are trying to release that... they need to have time and space and a lack of outside distraction to do that - a space where we relax off the infintismal ways we contract ourselves when we are around others. Resting allows the body to use the energy for healing. It's absolutely the best thing we can all do to follow what our body wants and needs over the technoques we have learned to get back in the game, the game that ultimately is not working for us. You are not alone in this and by lifting the veil you are showing others that they are not alone... we are in this together. You have my love. .. be gentle with yourself and allow this without judgement, just watch it - nothing lasts for ever and a new dawning is occurring. Yinchi - a big astral hug to you
❤️🙏❤️
Sending you Love and the 'Gnowing that all things shall pass ~ Follow your Heart and Focus on that which makes it Sing ~ This is a discombobulated time where many of us are picking up the collective dismay ~ This needs to be felt and acknowledged in order that it may come to the surface and be cleared in transformative Love ~ Trust ~ And thank you for sharing your vulnerable spaces it helps people to feel less alone and more AllOne ~ A Blessing You Be
Big love to you, Pamela. 💙
Love you so much and I know this place extraordinarily well, as you know <3 One thing that made me think, when you said you're doing things that you know are hurtful and not doing the things that are helpful, is maybe what hurts is actually the help. That's one of the fifty things that hit for me in this. Thank you for always being so vulnerable and willing to show up as you are. Love you infinitely.
I love you so so so much, dearest. Thank you. 💜❤️💙
(and also I'm a text away when you're feeling less attracted to isolation)
Sorry that you're in that space. As a caregiver and one who suffers from long-covid, I often feel similarly until I get reminded that I indeed am not alone despite how it may feel at times. My mantra of the day is "This too shall pass.". It always does, I just need to give it the time and space, focus on doing something constructive or creative (I'm a photographer/artist) and getting out often helps me get out of my funk.
Your writings are also helpful/inspirational.
Here's hoping your funk passes sooner rather than later.
Yes, this too shall pass. Thanks and lots of love, Michel.❤️🙏❤️
I can so relate. Since my mom died, I've been lost, but am finding my way back. Thanks for sharing this. It was healing for me to know I'm not alone.
Huge hug and so much love, Lisa. ❤️🙏❤️
It's comforting to know that I am not alone. I have anxiety over the upcoming election and other current events too numerous to list. I often feel like a prisoner to my thoughts and fantasies. My heart feels broken too. It's overwhelming at times being an HSP.
My depressive state is strong some days, but I know my determination to find joy daily is stronger. I just need to be present and recognize those little moments of joy. For instance, I recently had a lovely encounter with a tiny 80-something-year-old woman at the grocery store explaining the virtues of whole celery root. (I didn't even know what that round veggie was!) That sweet lady was so friendly and cheerful. A real joy! Also, I recently received a package of new art supplies and a rose quartz crystal. Yes! But my favorite joyful moment was getting your email announcing a new evening breathwork session. Thank you so much!
You are not alone, Scott. Many of us are feeling the same way. If precedent is any indicator, this too shall pass... eventually.
Sending peace, love and hugs.
Thank you, Glenda, and so much love to you.
Looking forward to seeing you on Tuesday night! ❤️
Hey Scott, I've never heard you so down. Are you okay?? Remember, this too shall pass--- you bring so much joy, kindness and love to so many people-- it pains me to hear you are struggling. My advice-- go to nature-- the ocean, a mountain, a forest, write a daily gratitude journal, listen to uplifting music that you love, go visit your closest friends and let them know that you need a hug, an ear, and a laugh, have a glass of wine and try to relax-- everything is gonna be alright-- and know that you are so loved by so many-- me included
Thank you, dear Tom. I love you. ❤️
Hi Scott,
l can watch your videos over and over as I truly love all your honesty and insight.
Life is an ever-changing train wreck, but your videos help me remember you and the magic that you share with all of us.
When I feel dead in mind, body and spirit I shave my beard or lay on the couch with my dog on top of me and rest ahhhh
But some times I need help outside myself , so I either take a few hits of pot or take a pill and rest.
Or say to myself...
"Kevin you need let go of your silly nilly problems, life is a picnic in the park!! " ( quote from Cuddles in the campy yet very healing film Polyester)
I hope you are coming back to Santa Fe at some point, as is always great to see you!
Sending you sincere warm hugs and best wishes and a confirmation that your work It is VERY powerful and healing for me.
I FELT EXACTLY LIKE YOU IN THE VIDEO I RECEIVED TODAY...I FEEL MUCH BETTER... NO BULLSHIT!
And I wrote you this email and now I Feel like I can be productive and enjoy the process of life again.
You make a difference,
Thank You
Kevin
PS You also allow me to understand you deeper and you seem to have more integrity when you look haggard and raw in your videos...
Most spiritual healers make sure they are cheerful, and their hair and make-up is flawless, before the put out a video like the one today.
Being organic and real helps me and others heal!
YES WE CAN!!
OOX
Kevin
Thank you, brother. I miss and love you. ❤️🙏❤️
Also, life is an ever-changing train wreck. 😂😂😂
You totally described where I've been. I haven't quite been able to put it into words as eloquently as you. Your process sounds similar to mine. Thank you for reminding me that we are never alone in our messy human stuff. Today it feels like one mountain moved and I was under the mountain. There are so many fucking layers! I love you, Scott! ✨️💜
Cheers for every mountain that gets moved. Sending tons of love, Shannon. I love you. ❤️
Oh, Scott, I am right there with you, stuck in the grey, too!!! And we're not alone; a friend on social media posted this quote by Georgia O'Keeffe that hit me square on: "I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again." and there were many others agreeing that they're feeling off, too. I cycle through acceptance (yes, even being able to accept this space for a brief moment is a definite sign of growth for me, too), impatience, frustration, wanting to escape it, and feeling like I just have to figure out the WHY of it ... and it's all so exhausting! I just want it to be DONE with me, and I keep telling myself that this, too, shall pass, but ... I am also very aware that the things I choose to do aren't helping me (endless scrolling, staying in bed/inside all day, etc.) and yet I'm still unable to stop doing those things; I'm also unable to choose to do things that I know will help (meditating, journaling, arting, getting outside into nature, etc.) WTF?!?!?! This is just all so very very uncomfortable and, because of a history of depression that hasn't visited me in a very nice long time, I'm also feeling a bit afraid of where this is heading. It's also not helpful that my husband/life partner (for the past 50+ years!) is away for almost 3 weeks, so I don't have his presence to comfort me nor urge me to get out of bed and do something, anything ... I'm supposed to go to the coast for 4 days with our dog starting tomorrow (I made these plans shortly after my husband decided to go on his trip), I thought that it would give me something really fun to do on my own while he is away, but now I'm not sure how it's going to be. If nothing else, I'd just like to find the balance between accepting this greyness while also doing things that are helpful during this time of greyness. Anyway, thank you for posting this bit of truth, sharing where you're at right now. Sending love to you.
Thank you, Deb. I feel you. Sending you so much love. ❤️🙏❤️
Oh Scott- I send you love and energy . This is a shitty shitty place to be and it is part of being human & sometimes for longer than we wish to be there for . Steady on. Nothing else to do , be or say , just be in it… until you are no longer there 🩷
💜🙏💜
Good morning, I know that we only met for a minute on page 111 in Ferndale but I wanted to send you a hug. Always know that you are enough. Lori
Thank you, Lori! A huge hug back to you, and so much love. 💜💜💜
Same Scott, Same. I totally feel you; thank you for sharing. Hugs to you and so much love
Hugs and so much love back to you, Yoko. 💜🙏💜
I FEEL YOU. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I've been feeling- low grade doom with a dash of numbness, and a solid sense of isolation (although I know it's sadly much of my own doing). Sending love and hope and gratitude for your willingness to share.
Big hug and lots of love back to you, Sarah. 💙🙏💙
Same! I cannot tell you how this post of yours resonated with me and I'm grateful, and even happy, if that’s an appropriate word, that you had the courage and resilience to share it with us. That's being connected in our disconnectedness!
I recently saw a friend’s FB post in late August where she wrote: “Kinda wishing I could just quietly fade away.” Some people responded with I love you, but I would miss you, please don't. Others said they understood. I replied "May I come with you? I don't see you often, however, I enjoy your mind and company so much!" She responded “Pack your bag!”
Then, with another two friends I met through ecstatic dance, and we have had a years-long text thread going of love, support and connection with all of our highs and lows in life, and he wrote about a friend’s recent land purchase with lots of acreage on the East Coast, but said she was a very negative spirit. I shared my dream about how lovely that would be if we could all have our little cottages on the land and have a fire pit gathering circle where we could read poetry and dance around the flames. Then we could drift off to our little cottages in the woods and return in the morning for a farm table breakfast together. But he said she was the kind of friend to crush ideas and spirituality and he will never give up and we will have our place in the woods and that he can respond to others only with love. Now, even though it's our gentle thread talking about our dreams without the naysayers and dream crushers, there is that group of us, people in the world who uplift and look for mutual uplift, and we must keep shining our light.
Scott, I know that love comes from anywhere, our virtually-connected family, as it did from the tradesperson I saw yesterday who has some physical issues and he texted me later to say "It was so nice to see you this morning, you have such a beautiful personality, so full of energy, I love that!” That warmed my heart because I felt like I was being seen in a world where I often feel not seen. You have an extraordinary way of expressing it all in real time. That, in itself, is a great healer.
P. S. I so wanted to sign up for your breath work class on Tuesday, October 1, but I have to watch the debate (another stressor, but essential for me to watch, as our democracy is at stake. I do hope to sign up for the next one). Peace and Love. Vicki. xo
Thanks for the beautiful share, Vicki. So much love to you. ❤️🙏❤️
And Tuesday’s breathwork ends at 9pm ET, which is when the debate starts, just FYI.
Thank you, and I'm going to look for your sign-up now. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing! Can’t tell you how much it helped me personally, because I’m right there too! Much love to you and all of us as we move through this necessary moment, you really helped me to remember wherever I am is exactly where I need to be and this too shall pass ❤️
Huge hug and so much love, Terri. 💙💙💙