I went for a walk with my friend Wolf yesterday along the arroyo behind his property in Santa Fe. For those who don’t live in the Southwest, an arroyo is a dry creek, stream or river bed that often flows with water after a heavy rain. The monsoon season has been good to Santa Fe, and though this arroyo was dry as we walked, we saw battered, muddied plants and bushes that indicated recent rushes of water had carved their way through it. Just three months ago, Northern New Mexico, reeling from drought, had been set ablaze and devastated by wildfires, so it felt especially thrilling to be walking in an arroyo lush, green and popping with wildflowers.
Wolf and his husband Michael have become family to me. I came to meet them through a mutual friend and the connection with both of them was instant and undeniable. Though he doesn’t define himself as such, Wolf is, by every definition I’ve known, a shaman. He lives with and teaches the Lakota ways, specifically. I have participated in several ceremonies with him and each time have been fortunate to witness what true mastery looks like. He is a teacher to his core, and his gifts are beautiful to behold; his heart even more so.
As we walked, Wolf stopped to point out his favorite tree, a wide and regal ponderosa pine, grounded into the low bluff along the arroyo. We stepped up to the tree and both placed our hands upon its trunk and leaned our foreheads toward it. If there is a more delicious smelling tree than a ponderosa pine, I don’t know of it. The vanilla, cinnamon, chai scent was faint but present, and I stuck my nose in the cracks of its bark to inhale the perfume.
With eyes closed I could feel energy from this tree surging into my hands and through my body, electric but calming. I felt more relaxed, more grounded. Trees tend to affect me in a specific way: more than any other of nature’s wonders, they remind me of the quiet, the stillness alive within me. That I have always been and will always be okay.
As I united with the tree, Wolf began to pray out loud. I was surprised, and not at all. Dear Grandfather, his prayer began, as he spoke to the tree. First he gave thanks to the pine for its presence, and then spent several minutes praying for help for different friends in his life who were having a difficult time, and then for all beings who were struggling. With my hands still pressed against the tree, my eyes still closed, I held space for Wolf’s prayers and felt my heart swell with love for this friend who is as faith-full, compassionate and reverent as any being I’ve encountered. When he was done, I said, simply, Thank you. I love you. As much to my friend as to the pine.
Wolf has an Inipi (sweat lodge) on his property, in which he leads regular ceremonies. A couple months ago, about a dozen of us helped him take down the Inipi that had been there for several years, and build a new one. The day before we did this, a few of us joined Wolf in a grove of willow trees in nearby Pecos to collect the trunks we would use for the Inipi’s frame. Once we walked into the grove, we gathered in a circle, each with a handful of tobacco, which is a traditional, sacred offering among many Native American tribes. Wolf was the first to pray to the willows, letting them know how we intended to use them, asking permission to take some of them, and offering gratitude for the sacrifice they were about to make. He spent many minutes speaking to them, honoring them, promising them their bodies would be used in a good way. When he finished, he tossed his tobacco into the trees, and then each of us took turns saying our prayers and offering our tobacco. We used saws to cut through the thin willow trunks and hauled only what we needed back to the property.
The next day, as we took down the old sweat lodge, we placed the willows that had formed its frame in a pile and gathered with Wolf, kneeling down among the old willows, our hands resting upon them. And again, Wolf began to pray, offering deep gratitude to the trees for the healing space they had provided. Once he finished, others of us who had received the gifts of that Inipi, of those willows, offered our prayers and gratitude, too. We spent a good twenty minutes giving thanks to the willows. I felt so moved by the experience, by the depth of honor Wolf had shown for those trees, by the example he was setting for all of us as a good way to relate to everything in nature.
It took us several hours to build the new sweat lodge, and every aspect of the process was done with intention, with respect, with joy, and with prayer. The new lodge, of course, stood strong and beautiful upon its completion. Those willows have already held many of us in ceremony, have amplified our gratitude, and tears, and prayers.
With Wolf so large in my heart as I write about these experiences, I feel compelled to give you a taste of his energy in his own words, as taken from his Facebook page.
There’s this:
Happy Spring Equinox EVERYONE!! Praying we are All consciously planting Life, Giving seeds, that we commit to tending to those seeds, to bring them into being for the Better of our Humanity, and All Humanity! I pray as I have been for many years, that we no longer need tragedy and human sacrifice of life to wake us up and Open our Hearts to this degree. That we consciously choose to keep this Heart Open to this degree for ALL Humanity... ALWAYS! I plant this seed with a smile on my face, with fresh rains to nurture, and the Vibrant Sun breaking through dark clouds.
And this:
Look! Down the road just a little bit! There you are standing in a NEW way! In a Re-Newed Body, Mind, and Spirit! What is happening now is part of the process to get there. Stay grounded in Trust, and feel the support all around you, seen and unseen! Don't believe everything you think or feel! Just let go! You are so Beautiful! See?
And this:
Love! So Much! SOOO Much Love! In this World!! So Much LOVE!! Any thoughts, All Thoughts that create pain or Sufferring, stop it! Don’t do it! Just LOVE!! NOW! JUST LOVE! Take Care!! Of each other! Stop Blaming. See they are hurting. Thinking only of them self. That hurts. Help em out, be kind, don’t judge. There is SO Much Love in this World! SOOO MUCH! Easily Accessible! Your choice! Choose wisely please! Now! LOVE!
My dear friend lives as he writes, in exclamation points.
Yesterday, on our walk, as Wolf and I made our way back to his home, he began to collect wildflowers to make a bouquet for Michael, who will be returning tomorrow from a three-week work trip. He said he usually picks wildflowers just once or twice a year from the arroyo and his property. He told me he had asked the flowers before we set out walking if it would be okay to pick them. Even without him telling me that, I had assumed as much. There’s little Wolf does in nature, and in his life, without intention, without reverence, without prayer.
** I emailed this to Wolf before sending it out, to make sure he felt comfortable with me sharing it. Obviously he did, or you wouldn’t be reading it. He invited me to include his email as well, in case anyone felt called to reach out to him. He is such a lover. Wolf Martinez: bluewolfpuma@me.com
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