What does it mean to be self-reliant?
An interview with author Mark Matousek
Please be sure to check out the upcoming events at the end of the email, including the next Writing Yourself workshop, an interactive night of joy with the wonderful Lisa McCourt, my weeklong retreat in Spain with meditation master, David Gandelman, and a FREE self-love and embodiment workshop (tomorrow!) with the one and only Ruthie Lindsey.
Hi Friends,
I’ve got a treat for you today: an interview with my friend, Mark Matousek, whose brilliant new book, Lessons from an American Stoic: How Emerson Can Change Your Life, is out today. I’ve long been a fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson and see him as one of the great American philosophers and teachers. Even if you’re not that familiar with Emerson, I suspect you’ve seen some of his insights floating around social media, including…
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.
What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside you.
I think I’ve shared all those quotes at some point, and that’s just a tiny taste of what this man had to offer. Mark answers a handful of questions below about Emerson and why this book is so important for our reality right now. Enjoy!
1. Why did you write a book about Emerson at this particular moment?
I’ve been living with Emerson’s powerful teachings for the past 40 years. His wisdom has helped me survive and thrive through the most challenging times of my life – heartbreak, health problems, relationships, depression. No matter how bad things got, I could always reach for my beaten-up copy of Emerson to help me off the ledge. Many people I know are living on the edge these days, fearing the future, doubting themselves, feeling contempt for institutions – in an overall state of fear, dread, and confusion. I wrote this book to address the prevailing malaises and questions that people are dealing with in this moment. Emerson’s stoic insights and transcendental philosophy are precisely the medicine we need today to help us through this dangerous period. As he said, “This time, like all times, is a very good one. If we but know what to do with it.”
2. What is self-reliance -- and what isn’t it -- and why do people resist it?
Self-reliance is a hugely misunderstood concept for a lot of people. Self-reliance is a profound spiritual practice that centers on two things: understanding and appreciating our own originality, uniqueness, nonconformity, and freedom to make personal (sometimes surprising) choices; second, recognizing our connection to powers greater than we are, and our interdependence with all living things. As Emerson wrote, “Self-reliance is reliance on God.” He wasn’t talking about a traditional religious deity but rather that spiritual essence we all share, which he called the Oversoul or One Mind. He also reminds us that “There is nothing so weak as an egotist,” meaning that when we confuse self-reliance with selfishness, isolationism, arrogance, and so on, we miss the entire point of where real power comes from, and the importance of trusting our internal guidance, which is connected to a higher intelligence.
3. Tell me a bit about Emerson himself. Is it true he was bisexual? What were his challenges? Relationship with Thoreau?
Emerson was a complicated, sometimes tormented man who lived in a time when sexuality was repressed, generally (unless you were a wild man like Walt Whitman, who also had to struggle in the closet). He had intense crushes on boys from a young age and wrote passionately about one in particular, who happened to be called Martin Gay, whom he mooned over at school for years. Though he married and had kids, he was always attracted to non-binary types of people, especially the brilliant, iconoclastic Margaret Fuller, who tried to pull him into an extra-marital affair and spoke openly about her own gender fluidity. Emerson as a buttoned-up type of guy, outwardly, while being operatically passionate inside himself. He was never able to bring this passion into his lived experience, unfortunately. But repression creates lots of good art, as we know, and this was no exception with Waldo, as he liked to be called.
4. For people who’ve never read Emerson, what are they missing and what do you hope they will get from the book?
Emerson is an extraordinary source of wisdom, beauty, and inspiration, whose life and work have been overshadowed by Henry David Thoreau, his younger, hipper, “sexier”protégé. It’s time to reclaim our national treasure. Readers will be amazed by the depth of his insights and how they can help them live happier, more creative and fulfilling lives. He was a messenger of radical optimism and authenticity; spending an hour with a few pages of Emerson can lift your heart and transform your perspective, no matter how confusing the world becomes. The twelve lessons in this book are intended as a kind of road map to self-reliance and freedom. Having lived with his work for most of my life, I can attest to the fantastic power of his philosophy, which is timeless and tremendously helpful. I’m thrilled to be sharing his teachings with readers who are unaware of what they’re missing!
I hope this brief interview with Mark has inspired you to take a deeper dive into Emerson, and to do so with his brand new book. You can learn more about Mark at his website. He is a brilliant writing teacher and offers many opportunities throughout the year to learn with him. I took one of his classes years ago and was blown away by his insight and compassion.
As we move into summer (well, those of us in the northern hemisphere), I hope the warmer weather and longer days have you outside more often and are giving you much to smile about. And for you southern hemisphere folks, may the winter months be filled with warm tea, soft blankets and plenty of time to pause and reflect.
So much love to you all,
Scott
Upcoming Events:
June 14th: My dear friend Ruthie Lindsey is facilitating a FREE Self-love and Embodiment workshop, and you won’t want to miss it. Go HERE to register.
June 21st: I’m joining my dear friend Lisa McCourt for her first ever Joy School Spotlight (as in the spotlight will be on me). This 90-minute event will include a thirty-minute conversation between me and Lisa, followed by an hour for questions and discussion from attendees. The focus will be joy and self-love and more joy. It’s going to be a very smiley night, so join us. Go HERE to register and scroll down until you see Joy School Spotlight.
June 24th: Join me for the latest Writing Yourself workshop, with all new prompts, where we use writing as a tool for self-discovery and personal power. No writing experience necessary, just a willingness to be honest with yourself. This workshop is my current favorite offering, in part because of the sense of community it fosters every single time. It’s going to be a beautiful event. Go HERE for details and registration.
August 31st - September 6th: Join me and meditation master David Gandelman for a weeklong retreat in Spain. It’s called Live Your Truth, and we’ll be writing, meditating, practicing breathwork, eating lots of delicious food and having a lot of fun. I feel confident in saying this retreat will be life-changing. Go HERE for details and registration.
NOTE: Only four spots left for this retreat.
