The undeniable joy of following your heart.

NEWS: Big Love comes out in paperback today, and I’ve got an offer for you all. Buy a copy of the book, email me a screenshot of your purchase, and you’ll get free access to one of my online breathwork sessions, and free access to my gratitude of course.

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My book, Big Love, comes out in paperback today, more than seven years after it was released. The paperback typically comes out around one year after the hardcover, but it’s taken all this time to run through the first printing of 10,000 copies. My publisher, New World Library, was close to discontinuing the book, and I’m relieved and grateful they chose not to.

A part of me wishes that Big Love would have sold better to this point, that I’d out earn my advance and finally start making some royalties, that the book could be more of a calling card than it has been. Another part of me feels like wow, 10,000 copies are in the hands of people all over the world. That’s no small thing.

There’s a chapter in Big Love called Flop, in which I share about having written the (still to this day) lowest grossing wide-release film in history, aka the biggest flop of all time. In that chapter I look at how we define success and failure and write the following:

Even though I don’t define success in terms of money, power, and popularity, I see how my mind still gets lost in those false notions of what it means to be successful. My ego wants more cash, more cachet, and more clicks. There can’t ever be enough of any of them. That’s not success, of course. That’s conditioning. Addiction. Desperation.

Love invites me to see success differently, as the fullest embodiment of kindness and compassion I’m capable of expressing. When I’m loving, I’m successful. When I’m forgiving, I’m successful, too. I’ve come to view success through a lens of humanity, and the degree to which I’m successful directly aligns with the degree to which I love myself and my fellow human beings. This definition of success fires me up and keeps me striving for more.

Now that sure sounds good, it’s how I truly feel, and yet, when Big Love didn’t sell well, my mind spiraled through myriad I’m a failure stories. I almost wrote I spiraled rather than my mind spiraled, but the truth is, it’s always only my mind that creates these stories of me as a failure, or less than, or unloved, or fill in the self-abusive blank. My heart, steadfast in its recognition of my worth, never wades into the failure swamp.

My relationship with my mind — my willingness to recognize that so much of what it tells me are lies — has certainly been one of the greatest contributors to creating more peace in my life, to connecting with the ever-present peace in the depths of my being. I swear it’s there in all of us. I stopped waiting for my mind to change, and instead got intentional about changing my relationship to my mind and its thoughts. Not believing it when it tries to beat me down. Not going to war with it either. As much as possible, just accepting it for what it is without allowing myself to be defined by its thoughts.

I am not my mind. Never was or will be.

I fail at remembering this often, by the way. But I succeed pretty often too, and it makes a difference every single time. We are not our minds. We are not our thoughts. Such a simple, liberating truth, and yet it can be so difficult to believe. But difficult is not impossible, not even close.

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For those of you familiar with Big Love, you may noticed that the cover color has changed, from the deep red of the original to the green in the picture above. I prefer the red, but the green has grown on me. Somewhat. The subtitle has changed too. It was formerly Big Love: The Power of Living with A Wide-Open Heart and is now Big Love: The Undeniable Joy of Following Your Heart. Do you have a preference? I love the new subtitle, suggested by my dear friend and New World Library’s rock star, in-house publicist, Kim Corbin. I sent her a list of possible subtitles and she responded with a video message in which she said, off the cuff, How about the undeniable joy of following your heart? I was like, yeah, how about it. I love it.

That’s not to say, of course, that when we follow our hearts we are guaranteed unrelenting joy, but I do believe heart-centered living is one path to a deeper and more ever-present joy than our minds can imagine. When I’m in my heart, I feel more connected to who I am. All of me. More accepting and loving of who I am. More accepting and loving of others too. This can only lead to more joy, has actually led to more joy. How could it not?

And I can’t stress this enough: there is room for joy no matter what is happening in our world. No matter how on fire things can feel. Joy, like gratitude and creativity, is a powerful energy, a healing life force. When you’re feeling joy, give yourself over to it. Be intentional about seeking and creating it. Asking yourself What brings me joy? is a good place to start, and acting on what you discover is a great place to continue.

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In the introduction to Big Love, I share my intention for the book:

I’d like this book to remind you that you are not alone, not by a long shot. We are all imperfect; we all have busy, fearful minds; and we all struggle. Every single one of us, every single day. I’d like the book to emphasize that you are as worthy of love as anyone who has ever lived, and that nothing you do could ever make you any less worthy. Or more worthy, for that matter. I’d like it to encourage you to take responsibility for every aspect of your life, knowing that by empowering yourself this way, you set yourself up for deeper peace and greater joy. I’d like it to open you up to perspectives you may not have considered, or reinforce ones you may have forgotten, all of which will lead to a more open and honest relationship with yourself and others. Most important, I’d like this book to inspire you to consider love as the guiding force in your life, regardless of circumstance. Nothing stands to transform us, our relationships, and our world, more than a commitment to live our lives from love. The bigger the better.

As I reread that passage, I realize it’s more than just my intention for the book; it’s my heart’s intention for most of the work I do. The heartbreaking and infuriating levels of insanity and division happening in this country right now have rooted me even more deeply in my commitment to operate from a place of love, and to be a messenger of its powers.

I feel called to share again the following from Ram Dass, which I shared here a few months ago:

What is alive in you to such a degree that your call to honor it doesn’t change, no matter what’s going on in the world?

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I’m going to close out today’s missive with a direct ask: if you have the means, please get yourself or a loved one a paperback copy of Big Love. If you’re called in any way to breathwork, email me your receipt and join for a free session. The next one is tomorrow, the 26th, at 9pm ET.

Also, this newsletter has and will continue to be free to read, but it also contributes to how I pay my bills, so if you’re vibing with the work I’m doing here, please consider a paid subscription.

No matter how you choose to be here, thanks for your presence. As I write in Big Love, at the end of the introduction…

To you reading this right now, whoever and wherever you are, I hope you never doubt that you are beautiful, resilient, and so very worthy of love, just as you are. Thank you for going on this journey with me. May we get lost in hope, inspiration, clarity, connection, fun and, of course, BIG LOVE.

xoxo…Scott

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Upcoming Events:

Free Live Talk on Insight Timer on Wednesday, February 26th at 11am ET

Online Breathwork Journey on Wednesday, February 26th at 9pm ET

Inward Online Workshop on Sunday, March 9th at 1pm ET

Enough as You Are Workshop in Oak Park, IL on Saturday, April 5th at 1:30pm CT

Inner Peace & Power in Portugal (one room left) from November 9th-15th

Insight Timer Meditations:

You Are Enough, Just as You Are

The Messages of Your Heart

A Pep Talk to Lift Your Spirits