On universal hypocrisy, politics, and the quest for hope.

See below the essay for upcoming events, including The Uplift, a free online gathering designed to help us feel a bit more energized, connected and, hopefully, uplifted.

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Hi Friends,

I used to write about politics fairly often on my social media pages, especially in the months prior to the 2016 and 2020 elections, because I always believed Trump to be a truly cruel and heartless option to lead our country. That said, I didn’t anticipate we’d devolve as quickly and as dangerously as we have. I also didn’t expect so many in our country to be this comfortable with authoritarianism. Or this unwilling to acknowledge it as such.

And that’s not just a conservative thing.

I saw it during the pandemic’s prime, as my fellow progressives, all adamantly my body my choice when it came to reproductive freedom, screamed for vaccine mandates, even after it was abundantly clear the vaccine stopped neither infection nor transmission.

We are a country of hypocrites, too often willing to allow our side to do the very things we rail against the other side for doing. I am against authoritarian behavior unless it serves my political convictions. This is the truth for most of us.

I stopped, for the most part, sharing too much about politics on social media because no matter how much intention I put into posting my thoughts and feelings with openness and compassion (sometimes failing but often succeeding), the comment sections always became a combative shit show. I genuinely don’t believe I influenced a single Trump supporter to change their vote. Nor do I believe I influenced many, if any, unvaccinated-haters to show a bit more acceptance for those of us who decided not to receive the Covid vaccine.

Maybe one day I will write about my experience after sharing on social media that I was unvaccinated for Covid. Even after dozens of anti-Trump posts, and the backlash to all of them, I have never received an uglier online assault than from my fellow progressives who declared me, in so many different ways, to be a horrible, unloving and ignorant person.

This experience woke me up, again, to the sad reality: people, no matter their political affiliations, when driven by fear and collective peer pressure, can and do become cruel and dehumanizing as a means of feeling safer and more righteous.

We see it everywhere, and on all sides.

Of course, dehumanizing behavior, no matter from whom it’s coming or at whom it’s directed, cannot lead to a more just and compassionate reality. We can (and do) shame each other into hiding, but not into any sort of healing.

I do believe, in general, social media serves as an echo chamber, perhaps especially where politics are concerned. Everyone wanting to change each other’s minds without being open to their own minds being changed.

I see my own rigidness here. I can’t imagine there is anything I can read that will encourage me to support these barbaric ICE raids. Or the slaughter and starvation of the Palestinian people (including the murder of more than 15,000 children and counting) by Israel and the United States. Or the endless anti-trans and anti-queer legislation and rhetoric. Or the ever-present and growing antisemitism and Islamophobia in the US. Or fucking Alligator Alcatraz. Or the deeply inhumane Big Beautiful Bill. Or, or, or, ad infinitum.

My heart rejects everything I just listed and so much more. Where human beings are concerned, where our civil rights and dignity are concerned, I’m inclined to follow my heart over my fear.

That doesn’t mean I don’t struggle to do so, and sometimes fail to do so.

I’m not shy about my progressive politics, though I haven’t felt as inclined to write about them as often, because I’m not sure it does much. I don’t mean that as a pessimist as much as a realist. There are many ways to effect political change, and in my experience, me posting about politics on social media hasn’t proven to be one of them.

That said, even as I write this I can feel myself being compelled to write more about politics again. I may even return to social media simply to do that. Perhaps the echo chamber isn’t about changing minds as much as it can be about energizing like-spirited hearts. I loved the NoKings protest for this reason. I didn’t believe we were shifting policy by all gathering together on that beautiful Saturday in Detroit, but I do believe we were reminding one another that we are not by a long shot alone in our anger and despair over what is happening in this country. And in that reminder, we were also inspiring each other to use our voices.

I got off of social media because it felt like an online war zone so much of the time, at least where politics was concerned. People just screaming at and shaming one another. People on the same side of an issue screaming at and shaming one another.

And no minds get changed.

I swear, for a person to change their mind about a long held belief is an assault to the ego that most minds simply can’t abide.

What would it take, or what has it taken, for you to change your mind about any one of your long held beliefs?

I’d love to think that it just takes being introduced to new information that clearly and factually refutes what we’ve long believed to be true, but for most of us that doesn’t change a damned thing. Cognitive dissonance is real, and most of us would rather do Simone Biles-level mental gymnastics than simply admit we’ve been wrong.

Perhaps one of the greatest sicknesses within humanity is our compulsion to be right at all costs. Most of us can’t even acknowledge when we don’t know something, let alone when we’re wrong about something.

I am no stranger to cognitive dissonance, but I am getting better at nudging myself through it when I’m being stubborn in my need to be right in the face of information that details how I might be wrong. I still fail at this sometimes too. I am still a hypocrite sometimes too. I’m just more willing to acknowledge those times than I’ve ever been before. This doesn’t help me feel less frustrated by others’ hypocrisy (or my own), but it does help me keep my heart open to their humanity (and my own) in the face of it.

We’re all hypocrites to some degree. How might our world look different if we were simply willing to admit our hypocrisies when they were happening, and then adjust our behavior to something with more integrity?

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No matter what, each of us is with ourself through everything. Which is to say, the more aligned our words and actions are to our heart’s wisdom, the more peace we are likely to feel about how we are moving through the world. Even a world in flames.

Please, especially those of you who are giving much of your energy to activism, make time for rest, and self-care, and joy. It serves not only you but your activism.

One of the things I resent the most about this current administration is the daily chaos they use to keep everyone distracted, anxious, enraged and afraid. They, with the media’s unending support, instill chaos day after day after day. And yet, we still get to choose how we want to engage with it, who we want to be as we engage with it. There is plenty we’re powerless over in relation to our government. We’re not powerless when it comes to living in integrity, or when it comes to prioritizing compassion and love.

I was eating dinner the other night, one of the best pizzas I’ve ever tasted, with three people I genuinely adore. As we were talking and laughing, I kept internally reminding myself to stay present in that good moment. That, as I was enjoying a wonderful meal with friends, it was not necessary to think about the Big Horrible Bill making its way through the Senate. That it was not only fine but healthy and helpful to simply enjoy dinner with people I love.

For millions of us in this country, this is a time of unrelenting awfulness. And right now, as I type this, I am drinking a delicious cup of coffee. Why not enjoy it? Why not savor it? Let all this ugliness do more than just enrage and ignite us; let it also make clear the importance of appreciating what feels good in life. Because there is value in this kind of appreciation. It helps fortify and sustain us.

If all I see is horror, then I know it’s time to expand my lens. Not as a means of denial but of survival. And of remembering there is so much beauty here too, as well as the possibility of so much more. Lately it’s hard for me to stay connected to this truth, and yet it’s no less true.

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My dear friend Jacob shared this today, and I think it’s a good reminder, perhaps especially after such a heavy essay:

I’m not at all one for shaming people into taking action, though I would like to remind us (myself included!) that even the smallest action can help to assuage feelings of powerlessness, and hopelessness, and fear. And, even the smallest action can benefit others in some tangible way, and will certainly benefit yourself too.

Sending huge love and gratitude to all of you for being here. May we all, in whatever else we do, keep our hearts open and our compassion flowing.

xoxo…Scott

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Upcoming Events:

Detroit Area: Breathwork in Troy on 7/18; Breathwork in Pleasant Ridge on 7/20.

Online: My friends Lisa McCourt, Karen Salmansohn and I are going to be hosting a free online gathering on Monday, July 28th. It is our intention to create a space, for a couple of hours, where we can all show up just as we are, and leave feeling a bit more connected and energized and seen. Ideally, within all this insanity, a bit more uplifted. You can RSVP, for free, here.