It's not too late and you're not too old.
You are only just beginning the rest of your life.
Hi Friends,
Let’s take a moment to consider what’s possible when we stop putting limits on what’s possible. No matter where you find yourself, how old you are, whether you feel frustrated or disappointed with your reality as it is, you are, right now, only just beginning the rest of your life. Think about that. We are all only at the beginning of the rest of our lives. When I breathe into this truth, I awaken to a world of possibility.
Last week I posted the following words to my social media accounts:
It’s what we do from this moment on that matters the most. It will always be what we do from this moment on that matters the most. We are not bound to any path laid out by past traumas, not when we decide to open ourselves to the endless possibilities that live in each present moment. As long as we are breathing, it can never be too late to change the course of our lives.
When I say it can never be too late to change the course of our lives, I say it from both a hopeful and rational understanding of life. I’m sitting at my desk right now writing this and could decide to do ten different things in this next moment, each of which will change the course of my life, at least for the time being. That’s just reality.
Like many of us, I’ve allowed myself to get lost in the past. I’ve used past “failures” to prevent me from taking chances with my work, past heartbreaks to keep me from opening up to new romance, past traumas to stop me from believing I am, in fact, worthy and lovable. It’s easy to become addicted to the past in a way that doesn’t serve us, easy to use it to keep us locked in fear instead of moving forward in deeper alignment with our hearts. Moving forward more courageously, that is.
So let’s reframe how we integrate the past.
I’m not suggesting we ignore our pasts entirely, but if we’re going to give energy to them, I think it’s helpful to expand the lens through which we view them. In order to do this, I’ve become more dedicated to seeing the benefits, rather than the disadvantages, of my past realities. I prefer to give my energy to that which I believe supports the possibility for greater peace, joy and connection.
So what does that look like on a practical level, to expand our limiting beliefs and seek out the benefits of past experiences?
Let’s say I’m really excited about an idea for a new business but have tried and failed to launch other projects on three different occasions. My fear tells me I’m doomed to fail again. “You’ve already tried something similar and couldn’t make it happen before,” it will say, “Why do you think you’ll be able to now?”
That’s such a narrow, but convincing, lens through which to view my past attempts at launching a business, and one that may prevent me from moving forward. Here’s a more expansive perspective: I have the experience (several times!) of trying this before and a better understanding of what it takes to make this dream a reality. Plus, I am an entirely different person now than I was then, so why would I limit myself based on past versions of me?
If my heart is calling me to give this new business a go, which of these perspectives is likely to keep me moving forward? So why would I sabotage myself by locking in to a more limited perspective? To be clear, I’m not suggesting we deny what really happened in our pasts; I’m suggesting we stop denying any benefits we’ve gained from even the more difficult aspects of them.
Imagine you go on ten different first dates, all of which fail to lead to a second date. Your mind will use these dates as proof it’s no use, there’s something wrong with you, and all men (in this example) are awful. Your mind will give you endless reasons to lose hope and stop dating, even though you still want to find a partner, which necessitates going on some dates.
What happens, however, if you expand your lens? How does it feel to view the dates as practice instead of failure? Isn’t there value in getting clearer about what you do and don’t want in a partner? Isn’t there a gift — even if you are the one being rejected — in not spending any more energy on a person who is not right for you? It’s possible to feel the disappointment of some unfulfilling dates and believe that each one is getting you closer to a partner you adore and who adores you. And why wouldn’t we always be looking to expand our perspective in ways that keep us energized and open and hopeful?
We’re in the midst of the holiday season here in the US. This is a difficult time of year for many. People feeling lonely, and sad, and grieving lost loved ones. I suspect most of us know the pain of the first holidays especially, after losing someone. I think, though, that sometimes we set ourselves up for difficult seasons because they’ve been difficult in the past and we expect them to be so again.
My family lost both my parents and my brother in the month of September (many years ago). “September is a hard month,” has been a refrain in my family for decades. If I’m expecting September to be a hard month, there’s a much better chance it’s going to be. That’s how energy works. I had a wonderful September this year. I was aware of the anniversary of my parents and brother’s deaths, but I didn’t go into the month expecting it to be awful, even though it’s been awful in the past. I have read and heard so many people state, with certainty, “the holidays are always tough for me.” That is the definition of living in the past, and in a way that does not serve one’s well-being. The truth is, we have no idea how the holidays will be for us before we’ve lived them, so let’s stop locking ourselves into a self-fulfilling and self-defeating prophecy. Let’s expand the perspective through which we view the holidays (or our birthday, or an anniversary, or or or) and look for reasons to believe they might be something different this time. Look for reasons, and take actions, to create new connections and possibilities and joys.
Our power lives in the present moment. We’ve convinced ourselves it lives in the past, in our traumas and heartbreaks and perceived failures. But that can never be true because we can never take action in the past. Only in the present. Only right now. Let’s get in the habit of repeating these words: It’s what I do from this moment on that matters the most. And, if in this moment, we do something idiotic or unhealthy, we come back to the refrain because it will be true in every new moment. The present moment is a continuous gift, a boundless opportunity, and it also happens to be the only moment we ever have. Over and over and over again. When I breathe into this truth, I awaken to a world of possibility.
Wishing you deep peace and so much love, right now and always.
Big and Bigger Love,
Scott
My new, visualization workshop, Imagine It!, begins on January 3rd. After three weeks together, you will have a journal filled with clear, bold visualizations, around which you can center your intentions and actions in order to align your reality more closely with your dreams. It’s going to be an incredibly powerful way to come into the new year. Go HERE for details and registration.
In February, I’ll be one of many wonderful teachers as part of Heal + Create, a two-week virtual retreat dedicated to personal transformation, healing and creative living. Go HERE for details and registration.
