Going back to the basics.

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Hi Friends,

I’ve heard many refer to the Republican and Democratic Parties as two wings of the same bird. I agree with this to a point. They both kiss the asses of corporations, lobbyists, and Wall Street. They both love to grossly overfund the military industrial complex. They both have proven wildly ineffective at addressing systemic inequalities. And they both make it nearly impossible for alternative voices (outside the two-party system) to be heard.

I could fill this essay with more examples, and I suspect you could fill it with many as well, but suffice it to say, the two parties, the two wings, make for one ugly fucking bird much of the time.

And, if I have to pick a wing, as we’re asked to do every two and four years, I’ll pick the wing that supports reproductive freedom, and opposes the death penalty, and wants queer people to have the same civil rights, and sees health care as a right and not a privilege, and supports common sense gun laws, and believes in expanding voting access, among other things.

The parties are too similar for me to be anything but an independent, and too different for me to even consider a vote for any republicans. As long as we’re bound to this two-party system, to this ugly fucking bird, I’m inclined to choose the democratic wing.

Even this, I second guess.

I believe our American government is corrupt beyond repair, and I’m not sure how it makes sense to continue to give it my energy, to give it my vote. It’s like continuing to water a dead plant, hoping it will bloom again, or to paint a house on the brink of collapse. We need more than superficial fixes. It’s rotting from within.

This past presidential election was the first since I’ve been able to vote that I considered abstaining. Had Biden been the candidate, I might not have voted, I don’t know. I found his candidacy offensive prior to that first debate, and absolutely egregious after it. I felt much more excited about Harris as a candidate but cringed every time I heard her give her full-throated support of Israel, of continuing to arm Israel, as they continued to perpetuate a genocide.

Same fucking bird.

Every time I vote in an election I am contributing to the corrupted system. I am supporting it, and compromising my integrity by doing so. And, I want women to have reproductive freedom, and kids to have free lunches in schools, and, and, and. In many ways, even within this deeply problematic system, the better choice for me is clear. The D-wing aligns much more with my convictions. So I keep voting. And I keep resenting it.

I have a lot of burn it all down energy in me. The thing is, we are a corrupted nation, so burning it all down and starting fresh isn’t gonna get us anywhere better. Not until we face ourselves for real. Not until we reckon with our genocidal beginning, and slavery-filled middle, and authoritarian present, and the rank white supremacy and Christian nationalism upholding it all.

It’s not that we lost the plot; we never had the plot. Never had a plot that prioritized dignity and justice for all people. How do we evolve as a nation if we are unwilling to face the many horrors we have perpetrated as a people? We can’t evolve into something better if we don’t take an honest look at what it is we need to evolve away from. At least right now, it’s hard to imagine that happening in my lifetime, or even at all. I hope I’m wrong. We find ourselves in realities all the time that we never imagined actually coming to fruition. Which is to say, I believe in miracles, and it’s gonna take maybe the biggest miracle ever for us Americans to face ourselves and make honest amends for our nation’s atrocities.

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I am working hard right now on figuring out how to be with our unjust country and violent world. By working hard I mean I am challenging myself every time I’m aware that I’ve fallen away from the wisdom of my heart, from love.

I’m finding it extraordinarily challenging and extraordinarily important to keep my compassion flowing for those in this administration, and for those who support this administration and the many horrors they are forcing upon our nation (and world). Without love as the guiding force in our politics, and our humanity, we will remain lost and divided.

I know I have to start with myself, with consistently nudging myself toward deeper empathy and compassion. I have too often allowed politics to steer me away from my heart’s capacity to love, even as I know that to stay rooted in love does not necessitate compromising a single conviction; in fact, it serves all words I speak and all actions I take.

Much of the reason I’ve felt destabilized so often lately, aside from the relentless cruelty playing out every day, is that I’ve been disconnecting from my heart too often. Forgetting what I believe to be most true, that love is our most powerful force for healing, and that every human being is worthy of compassion and love.

Yes, even that person. And that one, too.

Ram Dass talked about adding certain politicians to his altar, the ones he struggled to accept the most. In the morning, he would sit at his altar to greet his teachers: Good morning, Maharaji, and Buddha, and Jesus Christ, and…Casper Weinberger. The reminder being, This too is God. This too is my teacher.

I’ve been thinking about adding a picture of Trump to my altar. Of course, I need to create an altar first. And if I do, my good morning to my teachers might sound something like this: Good morning, Jesus, and Buddha, and Amma, and Ram Dass, and Thich Nhat Hanh, and Andrea Gibson, and Rumi, and…Donald Trump.

I’m cringing with you at the thought of it. Which is why I feel it’s so important. And, Donald Trump continues to provide me with a huge gift: a big ol’ mirror reflecting back to me the ways in which I’m not aligned with love.

My heart commands me to love. Period. No exceptions. When I ignore this command, I don’t feel right in my being. I don’t feel right in my life. I know it may seem silly for me to focus energy on finding love for a man doing such extraordinary harm. And yet, I see few acts as powerful as being able to love the supposed unlovable, to forgive the supposed unforgivable. Honestly, it’s hard in this moment for me to imagine getting to the place where I’m truly aligned with love when I think of Trump (and so many others), but I do have a sense of what it might feel like not to hate those against whom you are working for a more kind and compassionate world.

After all, it’s not the hatred of each other that inspires us to act; it’s the love for one another. I’m not pro-choice because Trump disgusts me. I’m pro-choice because I want women to have reproductive freedom. How I feel about Trump has no bearing on that, and choosing to hate Trump because of the harm he’s caused from his anti-choice policies, only causes me harm. I want to believe we can give our energy to the issues that matter most to us while at the same time recognizing the humanity in those who oppose what we’re working for.

I want to believe we are capable of this, and yet I’m not even sure if I’m capable of this anymore, and I’m a lot more loving than a lot of people I encounter. Well, I used to be anyway.

So, I’m going back to the basics with myself. I am committed to nudging myself back into my heart the moment I’m aware I’ve gotten lost in my fearful, shaming mind. Half my life ago a wise teacher put her hand on mine, looked me in the eyes, and said, There’s no justification for lack of love. Those words entered me like medicine and have been one of my most precious mantras throughout my adult life.

I hope I can show up here one day and write to you, without reservation, that I truly love Donald Trump. Not because of his policies (obviously). Not because of his personality (obviously). Not because of his compassion (obviously). But because I have finally aligned with my great capacity to love, and in so doing have learned to see the humanity in and offer my love and compassion to the man whom I believe to be of the most cruel and dangerous in the world. Because I have not just understood but internalized the truth that I am at my most grounded, whole, and powerful in my willingness to love all my fellow human beings, even the ones I like the least.

This, in my understanding, is true power.

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I think I’ve been saying this in every essay lately, but we are with ourselves through everything, and the more aligned we are with our heart’s commands, the more likely we are to find a deeper sense of peace, even within the heartbreak and rage. The heart’s language is love, and love, in its divine wisdom, reconnects us to ourselves, to God, and to each other.

Without love, we will remain lost.

With love, we find ourselves anew.

Sending so much love to you all, and a deep prayer that we may all find more moments of peace within all this insanity.

xoxo…Scott

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Some goodness:

• My beloved friend Holly has launched a truly wonderful podcast called co-regulation. In it she’s having conversations with other wise and thoughtful humans about how they are showing up in these unprecedented times, how they are being, how they are staying in their integrity and remaining sane. I’ve listened to a few episodes and I swear these conversations are helping me find some clarity that has been evading me for a bit. I highly recommend giving it a listen, wherever you listen to podcasts.

• Join me and my friends Lisa McCourt and Karen Salmansohn on Monday, July 28th, for The Uplift, a free online gathering . It is our intention to create a space, for a couple of hours, where we can all show up just as we are, and leave feeling a bit more connected and energized and seen. Ideally, within all this insanity, a bit more uplifted. You can RSVP, for free, here.

• Please watch this and let yourself be touched by a real-life angel:

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